[Dailydave] Dangers of the daily life and Michael's trip to the DPRK

[Lance M. Havok]

Today's story is certainly amusing. Who could imagine that boiling
chicken can get your ass burnt out!

Thankfully, thanks to the physical laws applying to gas propagation, I
haven't been the victim of a explosion, but my eyebrows almost got
busted.  For a particularly hairy person like myself (I was called
Bigfoot as a child, when I grew up I became known as the Chief
Security Officer), a simple flame burst in a kitchen full of gas,
could have fatal consequences.

Boiling chicken (and turkey!) in fresh water could be a high risk
task. Especially when you're lucky enough to have the flame exhausted
by some water pouring out of the thing, and having the gas at maximum
for about 45 minutes. You come back from praying the mandatory Quran
pages of the day, and Allah turns over you! What a rude prick. The
kitchen got new, old saloon style decoration. Like, demolished.

In other news, Michael (Myers, our very own tehshape) is on his way to
the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, an awesome country,
probably one of the most secure and non-bloated places on Earth. You
don't have to worry about McDonalds, Burger King, and all those
corrupt capitalistic mammoths that grow a shaky belly above your
pants. Instead, all you have to do is have some rice plantations in
the backyard, a couple pictures of the great Kim and a desire for
righteous work and dedication to the Party and People.

For his visit, he has prepared a set of beautiful wallpapers to put on
his laptop (he is Chinese in case someone wants to know, although we
usually call him 'our friendly chink master of Windows arts'). These
are available at:

http://info-pull.com/code/cissp_and_the_people.png
http://info-pull.com/code/cissp_and_the_people.jpg

The reason for designing these epic wallpapers, is pretty obvious: he
wants to gratefully surprise any Party officer that gently requests
him to turn his laptop on and show that:

1) He doesn't run Microsoft software (communists use Linux and
fascists have Apple Mac OS X).
2) He doesn't use Core Security Tech. software (communists don't like
the South American communist posers, like Chavez).
3) He doesn't have pornography (generally, communists only like
pornography if it's about Lenin).
4) He doesn't have a political agenda with either the United States
government OR alleged exploit dealers that suck (communists don't like
middle men offering bull crap).
5) He hasn't leaked any of their remote RPC 0day wuan-rez.
6) He uses AES (for great justice).

If any of you has visited the DPRK, please follow up. If not, then you
should really consider stop wasting money at Las Vegas and grab
yourself a ticket! Do it quickly, you never know when some random
country is gonna be freed from its oppressors! (as in wiped off the
map and replaced with a Hooters franchise).

Have a good one!